“Praesidium” Review | Hayley’s Comments #4

This is review #4 of my own review series, Hayley’s Comments! I review books and literature from small authors, and give my honest and in-depth analysis of them. This is a book I saw an advertisement for, and decided to do a review on.


Praesidium
By McKinley Aspen

Genre: Sci-fi
Subgenre(s): Urban Fantasy, Low Fantasy

A woman named Kathryn Bek is recruited by a superhuman policing agency to help fight crime in New York City. There, she tracks down the Paolucci crime family, while uncovering the secrets of her past.

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My oh my, do I have opinions about this book. I don’t even think I can begin to describe it via normal means. In order to articulate the impressive mediocrity of this book, I need to tell you a story, a true one.

When I was a kid, I would play outside with my brothers and the neighborhood kids. Inevitably, we would get hungry, so when it got dark, I would go in and eat whatever my mom had prepared for dinner. Her signature dish was baked chicken, which was exactly what it sounded like–a few bone-in chicken thighs, thrown in the oven with minimal spices. I never liked coming home and finding that she had decided to make baked chicken, but regardless, I was never allowed to leave the table until I finished it all.

I have vivid memories of sitting in the kitchen, taking hearty bites of the chicken. Dry and flavorless, I would chew and swallow like clockwork, hoping against hope that the next one would hold any bit of enjoyment; all in vain though, because it never did. The skin was pretty decent, but the actual meat itself was not good. I always found myself wishing she would just fry it like she sometimes did.

Ladies, and gentleman, that hardly-seasoned lump of poultry is the perfect analogy for how I felt throughout reading this book. It just isn’t good. I valiantly flipped through every page, hooking onto every detail, hoping that it was just a slow start. But then a slow start turned into a sow middle, and then a slow middle turned into a slow ending, and after several months of pushing through it, I had accomplished nothing but the relief of no longer having to read it.

I am not saying “do not read this book”. In fact, I’m saying the exact opposite. Please read this book; read it and reaffirm my distates and indifference of this book, which has very little artistic merit or anything of value. There are a few good parts interspersed throughout, but other than that, this is a wholly un-good work of fiction.

Scoring

Overall: 30/100

Plot: 4/10

Dialogue: 5.5/10

Pacing: 1/10

Characters: 3.75/10

Settings: 5/10

Length: 242 pages

Maturity: All ages

Reading Difficulty: Low

Point Of View: 1st person

Spoilers below!

What I like

•Contains some decent bits of dialogue

More Detail

Once in a blue moon, when reading this book, you’ll come across a piece of dialogue, or even a whole chapter, that is actually pretty well-written, and stands out from the text that surrounds it. One part that comes to mind is a chapter wherein Kathryn and her crew try to convince a drug addict to let them get him help and treatment. I felt like the wording and voice of this part was realistic and well-written, and was a pleasant surprise for me to come across.

What I dislike

•The pacing of the book is atrocious

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I cannot overstate how bad this aspect of the book is. Many, many times when reading this book, I had to flip a few pages back, because I could’ve sworn that there was something missing, but there wasn’t. It feels like I stumbled upon a rough draft scribbled in someone’s notebook, where some pages have fallen out and large chunks of the story have gone missing, making the story near unintelligible. It’s as if Aspen spent three months writing the “super awesome action heroes” parts, and spent three minutes writing the actual character development and origin stories that make us give a damn about the characters in the first place. So many details are just skipped over; her bonding with her team, her going through training and orientation, her debating whether to join Raphael’s team–all are just glossed over in a few pages. Time skip upon time skip upon unnecessary time skip. In the wise words of Tyra Banks: “It is so bad, I want to give you a zero. But that’s not possible. So I give you a one.”

•There is very, very little character development

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The characters themselves leave little to be desired. It’s not that they’re bad, ber se, but Aspen does next to nothing to get you to care about them, or get invested in them. New characters are introduced sporadically and with little warning. They are given maybe a paragraph of character development before being thrown into intense, harrowing situations with the main character, who herself has about half a chapter’s worth of personality herself. They all come off as shallow, one-note stock characters.

•The whole thing comes off as cliché

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This book doesn’t appear to be playing at anything original. It feels AI-generated, as if a computer was trained on 40 different fantasy books and told to write a completely original. It takes elements from different stories, but doesn’t do any of them particularly well. This is quite a hard thing to describe without actually giving you excerpts. It feels so artificial at times, which lends to a very slow, uninspired reading experience.

Content warnings

Drug abuse, organized crime

Spoilers above!

In Summary

Praesidium is a bland, unfulfilling work of fantasy writing. Though some good elements are scattered throughout, the book as a whole is poorly written, in such a way that it is hardly suitable for the majority of audiences.

“All My Love And Lack Thereof” Album Review | Consummate Professionalism, Volume 1

Welcome to my music review series, Cosummate Professionalism. This is Volume #1; in it, I’ll be reviewing “All My Love And Lack Thereof” by Jessica Haya. The artist was so gracious as to allow me to listen to this album pre-release; I hope to do it justice by painting an accurate picture of it for those who are eagerly anticipating listening to it.


A portrait of the artist, Jessica Haya.

All My Love And Lack Thereof
By
Jessica Haya

Produced by Chris Doms

Genres: Rock, Soul
Subgenre(s): Indie Rock, Soft Rock, Ballad
Record Type:
Album

Summary

I must say, this is quite the album to start off this series with. I went into this first one with no context, no prior knowledge, and basically zero expectations of what I would hear upon first listening. This was a conscious decision, made so that I could capture the raw emotions as the artist intended. That’s something I don’t usually do, but I believe it paid off in this case.

“All My Love And Lack Thereof” is a solid album, and one that takes you through a journey of emotions and thoughts that I think many will enjoy. The songs are eclectic, powerful, and manage to all have a distinct sound, while still being connected by one general unifying theme: love, self-acceptance, recovery, and healing. Though I do have mixed feelings about it in the more poetic respects, what it lacks in lyricism and poise it makes up for in technical expertise and craftsmanship.

The defining quality would definitely have to be the vocals. Haya has a vibrant, scintillating voice that is comparable to those of the most accomplished singers in the industry. Think of Idina Menzel mixed with Adele; add a dash of Hayley Williams, and you have Jess Haya. The tracks themselves are composed in a multitude of different subgenres, making it a bit difficult to pin down one specific sound or quality throughout, though the general theme can be summed up as a sort of soft indie rock.

In my opinion, the standout track “Fuck Me” is the defining song of the album. It’s a catchy, upbeat track, that’s sure to have you humming along to the melody throughout your day. It’s a song that upon a casual listen sounds like a run-of-the-mill music comedy bop, but is really a gleeful proclamation of the narrator’s unapologetic self-acceptance and refusal to bend to the whims of her admirers. This is a nice touch that cleverly weaves the outlying sleeper single of the album into the overall theme of the other songs.

Though not for everyone, “All My Love And Lak Thereof” will definitely find a welcome home in the hearts of many an avid music listener. I would absolutely love to see this turned into a musical or film of some sort, à la Purple Rain; such a production is a shoo-in for a new cult classic.

Rating

Overall Rating:

85/100

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This is a really good album, and is one of those records that gets better every time it’s listened to. The songs are catchy, the lyrics are meaningful, and the vocals are pristine. I decided not to give it a higher score for two reasons. First, some of the lyrics can come off as corny or cliché at times. Second, the tracks could be organized better, and occasionally it feels like the record lacks a coherent sound. These issues are not nearly enough to ruin the listening experience, though.

Song Quality:

9/10

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The songs are generally very enjoyable and easy to listen to, especially when listened to individually, outside of the context of the album. Many of these songs have a certain superstar quality to them, and a je ne sais quoi that adds to the powerful listening experience. “Parachute”, “My Design”, “Thank You”; I would not be the least bit surprised if at least one of these songs becomes a chart-topping single at some point.

Flow/Transition:

6.5/10

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Though the individual songs on the album are generally very good, it sometimes feels like the songs don’t come together to form something better than the sum of its parts, as an album should. Songs like “Smile Too” and “Fuck Me” come off as disjointed singles in an otherwise cohesive album. It could be a lot worse, and for me personally it doesn’t at all take away from the quality of the album. Nonetheless, I feel like Haya and her team could have done a better job at organizing the tracks. I still give it a score of 6.5 because most of the songs really do flow into each other nicely, and it’s an album that I can picture being played on repeat over and over again. Perhaps if the aforementioned singles had been added in as bonus tracks, or even just placed in a different order, it would get a higher score in this area. Don’t let this stop you from listening to the album, though.

Technical Quality:

8.5/10

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Haya, as well as whoever helped her compose these tracks, clearly have an eye for detail that that will come as a pleasant surprise to more astute music aficionados. The album starts off with the iconic “C#, E, G#, E” riff; composed like a classic sonata, this whole song sets the tone for the album. The track “Letting Go” contains some ASMR-inducing Left/Right stereo panning that displays an additional eye for detail. The backing guitarist and drummer are also noteworthy, displaying a worthy eye for music theory and giving the album a more down-to-earth indie sound. There are more examples contained within, but these are the most prominent; I’ll let you discover the rest on your own.

Lyrics:

6/10

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The lyrics are generally decent, and occasionally brilliant. The most notable of the latter would have to be “My Design”, as well as some other lines interspersed throughout the other songs. Regrettably, though, this is probably the weakest element of the album. Though not bad by any means, a lot of the lines can come off as histrionic, dramatic, or corny. They’re the kind of lines that you might hear a high schooler in musical theater try to improvise. Though not significantly bad enough to sour the album, and though it ersonally didn’t bother me too much, it it could definitely leave a bad taste in the mouths of some listeners (though some might enjoy it even more for the same reasons).

Bonus Scores

Tell-a-friend:

4/5

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There are a couple hit tracks on this album that really stand out, worthy of being played for anyone that will listen. The sheer power of Haya’s voice makes you wonder why you need to tell people about her in the first place, why people don’t know about her already.

Replay Value:

4/5

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The songs here are fresh and easy to listen to; They aren’t the kind of songs that you just listen to once, think “hey, that’s pretty good!” and then skip over. A lot of the tracks are extremely catchy and certifiably replay-worthy, in a way akin to the most popular mainstream hits. In fact, as I type this, the song “Thank You” has been stuck in my head for hours, the chorus playing in my mind on repeat. I’m sure that such will be the case for many other new listeners, too.

Originality:

3.5/5

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Though reminiscent of other more mainstream artists, Haya has a signature sound that’s hard to put into words. As an example, I brought my partner into the room, gave her no context whatsoever about the album, played a small clip from one of the tracks, and asked “who do you think wrote this song?”. The response I got was, and I quote, “I don’t know; that doesn’t sound like anyone else I’ve heard”. So you see, “All My Love And Lack Thereof” is definitely not lacking in je ne sais quoi. It doesn’t have a higher score in this area, though, because the actual topic and message of the songs aren’t particularly original, per se, and nothing new or innovative is technically done throughout.

Best Track:

#5. “Fuck Me”*

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If I had to put my money on one track, it would be this one. Don’t let the vulgar title fool you; as mentioned above, what at first appears to be just a run-of-the-mill, shock value romantic comedy track actually includes an important message of self-acceptance that I think a lot of women need to hear. “Fuck me” has just the right amount of wit and comedy, balanced with distinct subtext and musical finesse. *A very close second is the track “Thank You”, the 12th and final song on the album. Though I personally enjoy it slightly more than the former, is definitively more unique, and thus has a range of appeal, for lack of a better phrase.

Comparable to:

Adele, Florence + The Machine, Idina Menzel,
Sixpence None The Richer, Imogen Heap

Vibes:

Broadway musical, melodrama, empowerment/motivation,
debut album, cult fanbase

Stats

Runtime:

00:42:17.00

Average Track Length:

00:03:31.42

Content Warning(s):

Mild strong language, sexual themes

Number of Tracks:

12

Maturity:

14+

“The Girl In The Box” Series, Book 1: “Alone” Review | Hayley’s Comments #3

This is review #3 of my own review series, Hayley’s Comments! I review books and literature from small authors, and give my honest and in-depth analysis of them. This time around, I’m reviewing the book “Alone” by Robert J. Crane. I’ve been meaning to read this book for a while, and I’m really glad I did!


Alone
By Robert J. Crane

Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Subgenre(s): Urban fantasy, Coming-of-age, Thriller

A 17-year-old girl named Sienna Nealon has lived a life of solitude, shielded from contact with the outside world. When a group of intruders break in and force her out, it turns out that she and her mother are part of something much greater than she could have ever imagined.

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I’m gonna try to go over this book as impartially as possible. I’ve been trying hard to think of a way to write this review without hyping it up too much, since your personal opinions may be different, and I don’t want you to finish this book with unmet expectations. Know that, while I’m super confident that you’ll agree with my assessment, there is a slight chance that your analysis and opinion will be much different than mine. That being said…

“Alone” is pretty close to a masterpiece. The fact that this book isn’t a certified classic, a literary staple, or the subject of an avid fandom is nothing short of a tragedy. This book had no problem carrying my rapt attention throughout, never truly feeling bogged down or slow in some areas. Even when not reading it, I’d find my mind continuously wandering back to the plot, awaiting the time when I’d be able to read just a few more chapters. The book hits all the right marks; great characters, great setting, great plot, and more. Crane waves together all these beautiful story elements in such a way that many authors could even dream of–including some more well-known names. Replete with action, nuance, and subtle subtext throughout, this book is sure to make your week, or your month.

Scoring

Overall: 93/100

Plot: 8/10

Dialogue: 9/10

Pacing: 6.5/10

Characters: 10/10

Settings: 8.5/10

Length: 182 pages

Maturity: Young Adult

Reading Difficulty: High

Point Of View: 1st person

Spoilers below!

What I like

•The plot is excellent and engaging

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This book had no problem keeping my rapt attention throughout. Beat by beat, I never lost my focus once while reading this. A lot of books–especially fantasy books–contain some slower parts that are harder to get through, and leave much to be desired. In “Alone”, however, there’s never a dull moment to be found.

It’s also achieved another rare feat: I don’t think I found a single plothole, error, or inconsistency throughout the entire book. All the details are seamlessly sewn together. Nothing really goes unexplained, nothing conflicts other parts of the story, and nothing is left for the readers to fill in the blanks. It hits all the barks for a good plot, while also maintaining originality and engagement.

•The characters are superb and interesting

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Every character in this book that I can think of is interesting and unique, and brings something different to the story. There are no cookie cutters, stock characters, or cliché archetypes to be found. They’re complex, nuanced, and just generally relatable in an endearing way. Now, this is not to say each character is some sort of allegory or metaphor to some deeper meaning. Rather, the characters feel like normal people

•It contains subtle subtext, and a message that we can love and relate to

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I think this book contains deeper meaning behind it, that’s not essential to the plot, but can enhance the reading experience if you’re looking out for it. For instance, the whole idea of her being hidden from the outside world, only to be thrust into an environment of chaos and mystery, can be viewed as an allegory for hardship and adulthood. It conveys that parents try so hard to protect us from the horrors of the outside world, only to ultimately be to our detriment. And that once we are eventually forced out of the parental bubble, we encounter tribulations and menaces beyond our ability to understand. There are more examples, but the reader has the choice to acknowledge them, or just read it for the plot and the lore. You can get what you want from it, and I think that’s beautiful.

The first 3 out of an astounding 52 books in the series so far! (Credit: Art by Karri)

What I dislike

•Some elements should have been focused on more

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Alas, a good portion of my qualms with this book arise not from what is included, but rather, from what isn’t. For what I can only assume to be in the interest of saving time, Crane seems to gloss over and “yadda-yadda” his way through some elements of his story that I would have preferred he focused on. The major one that stuck out to me was that there should have been more focus on showing how Sienna acclimated to her new environment at the directorate. It feels like she just shows up there, says “hey, this is my life now”, and goes about her daily activities. I know that this is not actually the case, but this is the feeling that’s given, since there’s almost no time devoted to describing how exactly she got settled in. A well-written panic attack scene might very well have fixed this issue.

•It can come off as cliché

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This one almost entirely involves the main character and narrator, Sienna Nealon. She makes a ton of wise cracks, jokes, and pop culture references that seem unusual at times. A lot of the dialogue comes off as unnatural and tends to break the immersion. I personally don’t think it’s that big of a problem, and I understand that it’s a result of her ignorance to the outside world, her only knowledge of non-maternal human interaction being that which she’s seen on TV. But other readers might not be as fond of this, so it’s worth mentioning.

Content warnings

Abuse, rape, body mutilation, bullying

Spoilers above!

In Summary

“Alone” is a certified classic, a literary gem amongst a genre of coal. Well-crafted and artistic–though not without it’s flaws–Crane has created a work good enough to contend with even its most mainstream competition.

“The Warriors of Bhrea: The Lost King” Review | Hayley’s Comments #1

This is review #1 of my own review series, Hayley’s Comments! I review books and literature from small authors, and give my honest and in-depth analysis of them. First up is the first book in the five-part Warriors of Bhrea series, called The Lost King. A self-published work written by a wonderful and kind author. I think this book will hold a special place in my heart now, being the first one in this series.


The Warriors of Bhrea: The Lost King
By T.M Kohl

Genre: Fantasy
Subgenres: High Fantasy, Isekai

Lauren Strauss, a 21-year-old nursing student, is magically teleported from her peaceful city life to an entire different world that she knows nothing about. She must navigate the kingdom of Bhrea while also trying to find out why she was put there, all the while dealing with the possibility of having latent magical powers of her own.

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I’m glad I stumbled across this book; it was pretty easy for me to miss, honestly. Once I decided to start reviewing, I spent a while perusing my Twitter feed, searching for some books that I could take a look at. T.M. Kohl just happened to be one of the people that I followed, so after clicking on several people’s profiles, I come across hers and see that she so happens to have a book series she’s working on. Interested, I start reading the first of them; and now, a month and a half later, I’m writing a review of it. To think that I could easily have overlooked this work of literature makes me think fate was on my side.

The Lost King is a fine fantasy adventure, flawlessly absorbing me into its lore and keeping me with it all the way to the last page. It has a way of keeping your attention beat by beat, all while not skimping on the details and imagery that attracts you to it in the first place. Unlike a more traditional, slow-burn fantasy novel like The Hobbit, this book skips over a lot of the filler and minutiae, jumping right into the plot important details and real character development. In my opinion, that’s a great thing.

I especially like how it doesn’t inundate you with unimportant characters, verbose setting descriptions, or irrelevant dialogue. It’s beautiful in it’s simplicity, and manages to be condensed but still enticing. The Lost King appears to be a great start to a series, and is perfect book to get lost in during a long car ride or a weekend out of town.

Scoring

Overall: 81/100

Plot: 7/10

Dialogue: 10/10

Pacing: 6.5/10

Characters: 6/10

Settings: 5/10

Length: 334 pages

Maturity: Teen/Young Adult

Reading Difficulty: Moderate

Point Of View: 3rd person limited

Spoilers below!

What I like

•There are very few tropes or clichés used at all. Lauren, the main character, is just a normal girl who magically gets transported to an unknown land, and that’s exactly what it feels like.

More Detail

Nothing about her feels cheap or unrealistic, and the same goes to most of the rest of the characters. The classic “character does something stupid or illogical just to advance the plot” cliché is nowhere to be found. There’s no predictable or forced romance; the reader may be led to believe that Lauren and Val (the crown prince to the throne of the kingdom of Bhrea) will fall in love by the end of the book, falling into each other’s arms in a romantic resolution. That doesn’t end up happening, though. Tropes are unavoidable, of course, but those that are included seem to be implemented well.

Artist: Kiarou (@_Kiarou on Twitter)

•The story has its own special fantasy language, called Korvet. I think this is one of the defining features of the lore. It feels very fresh and original, not too complex and with handy translations. The way it’s integrated into the plot is especially great.

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Normally, fantasy languages are often mentioned in passing, with characters using a few words here and there, the language itself hardly mentioned at all. Either that, or every character in the book is instantly and seamlessly fluent in the language, with the dialogue, place names, lores and legends all just a confusing mashup of English and Fantasyish. The Lost King does a great job of implementing Korvet, though. English and other earthly languages are completely unknown to Bhrea, and Lauren spends the better part of the book learning the language, practicing it, and learning how to use it in conversation. And it’s not like there’s a time skip and then she’s fluent like a native speaker; throughout the book, you’ll see her ask how to say specific words, mix in English words, or generally make mistakes when speaking; all in a way that feels completely natural, pretty much exactly what it feels like with real life language barriers. The Korvet dialogue is translated into English for us, but Kohl somehow found a way to do that and still incorporate all of the elements I mentioned.

•The dialogue is exceptional. It feels smooth and natural, just like people would talk and communicate in the real world.

More Detail

It’s not exceedingly verbose, and isn’t trying too hard to sound magical or fantastical. You won’t see any of the villains going on annoying, long-winded monologues that last three pages either. This adds a level of realism to the story, and makes it and the characters within it much more relatable and interesting. Kohl writes dialogue like a veteran author–even better than some of them.

What I dislike

•I would’ve liked to read more about Lauren’s life on Earth.

More Detail

Only the first chapter, and a little bit of the prologue and second chapter take place on Earth. Though there are some references and reminders of her life on Earth, with Lauren’s purse full of a few precious belongings being teleported to Bhrea along with her, a lot about her day-to-day life back at home is shrouded in mystery. It feels like Kohl wasn’t really interested in the realistic, down-to-earth elements of her writing, like she just glossed over all of that in order to get straight to the cool interesting fantasy bits.

•As mentioned above, the book is more simple and condensed than your average fantasy novel. But that comes at a cost: a lot of things are mentioned briefly and are not expanded on enough.

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For example, there’s a whole pantheon of gods in the world of Bhrea. Joss, Dolan, Svorra; these are all very important figures that are mentioned throughout the lore, yet we as readers know relatively little about them. Perhaps the most notable thing that’s overlooked is the Sebaal, a group of warrior cultists that are determined to kill Lauren and steal her mysterious necklace, the Sem-Kelad. Though they’re the main focus of the plot, with Lauren being trained to fight them throughout the book, we know surprisingly little about them before the last few chapters of the book. Overall, I would’ve liked to see a more engaging side plot, focusing less on just Val and Lauren’s personal struggles.

•There are very few settings throughout the book. Granted, those that are mentioned are described well enough, but the way the settings are involved in the plot make the fantasy world feel very small.

More Detail

About 75% of the book takes place in the city of Terrn, and about 80% of that takes place in one giant mountainside palace. I wish I’d seen Val and Lauren explore the kingdom a little more. Maybe they could have explored some of the nearby cities, visited the Algarans in the north, had a run-in with the mysterious Kataal people. It’s an interesting narrative choice to have the majority of the setting condensed into such a small area, and one that I’m not too fond of.

Content warnings

Death, blood, battle and violence, alcohol use

Spoilers above!

In Summary

The Lost King is a fine work of fantasy writing. Short and condensed but filled with enticing characters and lore, this is a good read for the avid reader looking for a fresh new world to get lost in for a little bit. Though some of the more important fantasy details are a bit lacking at times, overall this makes for a fine novel that will leave you excited for the sequels.